A Place to Become

Grief emerges as our reaction to a significant loss. According to Worden’s Task Theory of Grief, the process of grief often involves:

- Coming to accept the loss

- Processing the painful emotions associated with the loss

- Adjusting to a world with our loved one no longer in it

- Continuing to find enduring and meaningful connections with our deceased loved ones

Sometimes the grief process gets stuck for a variety of reasons. Grief counseling may help you to process the painful experience of loss, to learn strategies for living with the loss, and to find new and creative ways to engage life after loss.

I have supported many individuals in the final stages of life and have counseled many bereaved persons and families in individual and group settings.

Grief can also show up following many other significant losses, including the loss of a job, loss of an ability or identity, or with a life-limiting diagnosis.

I agree with Francis Weller who writes that we must treat all grief “as worthy of attention. In fact, it is essential for us to welcome our grief, whatever form it takes. When we do, we open ourselves to our shared experiences in life.” (from The Wild Edge of Sorrow: The Sacred Work of Grief)

My background working in spiritual care taught me to respect each person’s relationship with what they consider most sacred or important in their lives. This may be a connection with nature, a community formed around a special interest or identity, a religious commitment, or an artistic or creative project. It may even be something more difficult to define, like a guiding force in one’s life. Good therapy often involves integrating your most deeply held commitments, beliefs, and practices with what you desire to change.

I am also familiar with many of the ways spiritual and religious beliefs, practices, and communities can cause deep and lasting harm to individuals. I believe walking one’s spiritual path may involve periodically examining and deconstructing old patterns of thinking that keep us captive to oppressive systems and ideas. If you would like to work through spiritual abuse or religious trauma, I would be honored to work with you.

Why do we keep repeating the same patterns, stuck in addictive behaviors, or finding ourselves in the same unsatisfying relationships?

Psychodynamic psychotherapy seeks to help us better understand ourselves and how we relate to others by looking at present and past relationships, especially our families of origin, so that we can begin to transform how we relate to ourselves and others.

I find an existentialist approach complements psychodynamic therapy, as both of these approaches tend to bring up ultimate concerns and questions, such as:

- What does it mean to live a meaningful life?

- How do we live with the freedoms we have?

- How do we acknowledge our mortality without letting it overwhelm us?

As the poet Mary Oliver famously said, "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"